You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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