I'm so fucking centered right now
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
