Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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