So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
