Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
