Just cropdusted the office
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
