Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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