Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
