Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
birth control should be required to get into college
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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