hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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