drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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