I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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