Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
