kristin has been a bad kristin
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
