I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
