North Korea, Best Korea!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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