Capitaan dildo arrescate!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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