this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
