I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
