we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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