Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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