It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
