I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
