i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
