ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize