Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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