have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
