is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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