"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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