Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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