You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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