some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
