dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize