How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
