at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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