Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
