Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
