Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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