i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
