Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
