I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
