Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(361): View more from Texas

I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.

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(949): View more from California

Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had

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(845): View more from New York

It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.

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(303): View more from Colorado

they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.

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(727): View more from Florida

I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend

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