you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
