If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
