As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
