look no pants
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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