at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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