u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
