dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
