Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
