Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
