Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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