when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
love makes seman taste better
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
