now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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