Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
