Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
