There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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