This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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