yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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