when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize