I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
