I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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