i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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