Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
PANTIES FOUND
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