My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
