I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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